Vera House offers
LIFE'S WORK
a model for non-violent masculinity
a new program coordinated by Men's Outreach Coordinator
JEROME HALL

[far l & r] Jerome Hall receiving 2007 Rubenstein Social Justice Award
poses with VH Executive Director, Randi Bregman & his wife, Rita
and with Dotti Barraco-Hetnar, VH Programs Administrator

On Wednesday, April 11^th, 2007, Vera House’s Jerome Hall, an MSW graduate of the Syracuse University School of Social Work, received the 2007 Rubenstein Social Justice Award at an event in his honor in Maxwell Auditorium. The award recognized Hall's efforts to end domestic violence in the Central New York community. Jerome reflected on the memorable honor by saying, “It’s amazing, because I work with so many good people, at Vera House and in the Alternatives and Men’s Outreach programs – I see it as an award for all of our collective efforts.”

Jerome especially credits the wonderful work of his former Alternatives Co-Coordinator, Laurie Murray. When Jerome moved into the role of leading the Men’s Outreach program, Laurie assumed sole leadership of the Alternatives program.

Jerome Hall of the Men's Outreach Program & Alternatives Coordinator
Laurie Murray at the 2007 White Ribbon Campaign Kick-Off March.

Jerome believes the award simply affirms the value of the Men’s Outreach program in our community, and the growing awareness of how necessary and influential such work can be. While the recognition garnered Jerome some well-deserved attention for his commitment to improving men’s understanding of what it really means to “BE A MAN”, the recent White Ribbon Campaign which focused on that message brought even more! In recent years, Jerome has been a visible example of the male leadership against domestic and sexual violence that drives the campaign, and 2007 was no exception.


In particular, a Post-Standard article focusing on a former participant in the Alternatives program presented more personal context to the issue, when Hosea Hanslip spoke in detail and with considerable candor about his experience as a violently abusive male. Beyond recounting the events that led him to court-mandated attendance of Alternatives classes, Hosea's interview revealed his feelings about his actions and the shame he recognizes they have brought on him, his family and children. This is just one of the steps in taking responsibility publicly that Hall advocates in his work with men, and he believes that this kind of communication and the dialogue it provokes are both healthy and needful.

“Men are socialized to think of dealing with conflict as power and control”, says Hall, and don’t typically have an outlet to share their feelings. The Life’s Work program is an “opportunity for the men to work on personal issues without being ‘in trouble’.” Men enrolled in the class have completed Alternatives, and are making a personal commitment to continue the process of change.

“Such a huge number of guys have no idea how to even ask the right questions” because they’ve internalized so many subtle and not so subtle messages about what constitutes masculine behavior. Their concept may be defined by physical strength, tough talk and/or behavior, financial resources, sexual conquests – generally being competitive and winning are the bottom line.

Jerome suggests, if we can encourage men to recognize that
the greater measure of courage lies in
walking away from a conflict or negotiating it
rather than resorting to violence
we can start to break the cycle and replace those
destructive messages with more positive models of behavior.

And while the examples of dysfunctional, power-and-control driven “masculinity” are rampant in our culture, Jerome remains hopeful and inspired by the tremendous openness he witnesses among men when they are finally presented with an opportunity to open up in a safe, non-judgmental environment and address these issues.

“Most men don’t have another person they can go to and safely share their feelings, without being told ‘don’t cry’, ‘act like a man’! I’m always amazed that when guys have a chance to have this conversation, they aren’t just open to having it, they are INTENT on having it. It is like a huge relief to finally be able to discuss their feelings without being judged.”

That’s why Jerome would like to see the program truly expand from a post-Alternatives class, to a PRE-violence dialogue; to engage men of all ages in discussions about how to rethink and redefine masculinity and male roles.

 Learning new ways to be in relationship,
in partnership with others -
whether at home or work or elsewhere in life -
that don’t depend on “winning” at all costs
but are inspired by mutual respect
and communication, would be a healthy
and challenging inspiration for us all.

If you are interested in bringing Jerome to your setting
to talk with men about the
Vera House Men’s Outreach program
please contact him at #315.425.0818 ext205 or