◊ Listen
-
let
the victim talk and tell the story at his or her own
pace. Be patient with silences and just sit with your
friend or loved one.
◊ Reassure
your friend that the attack was not his
or her own fault. Avoid questions that might suggest
that the victim is to blame, such as "Why didn't you
scream?" or "Why did you go to his room?" Victims do
the best they can under tremendous stress. Fear often
paralyzes people. If a victim "cooperated" or
submitted to an assault, it does not make him or her a
willing participant. The perpetrator is always
responsible for the assault.
◊
Urge
your friend to seek medical attention.
There may be injuries that are not visible. Medical
professionals can test and provide preventive
treatment for pregnancy and for HIV and other sexually
transmitted infections.
◊
Respect
your friend's decision to report the
attack or not. If he or she chooses to report the
sexual assault, the sooner the better. The sooner a
sexual assault is reported, the better chances are of
the offender being convicted. Likewise, the sooner
evidence is collected during a medical exam, the
better. Ultimately, whether or not to report the crime
and to collect evidence are the victim's decisions.
◊
Offer
to call the Vera House hotline #315.422.7273.
or our TTY hotline
#315.484.7263 [during regular business
hours]. Outside
of Onondaga County, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at #800.656.HOPE
[4673] to reach the Crisis Center nearest
you. Your loved one can get help without having to
answer any questions.
◊ Encourage counseling
-
the
Vera House New Directions: Rape Crisis & Sexual
Assault Services offers free, confidential counseling
to male and female victims of sexual assault and to
their loved ones in Onondaga County.
For information
on services in other areas . .
◊
Support
the victim and his or her decisions. Do
not pressure. You can help outline the options, but
you must respect your friend's decisions about medical
care, reporting, and whom to tell- even if you do not
agree. Understand the wide range of feelings that
victims experience immediately and long after a sexual
assault. Feelings such as fear, anger, humiliation,
betrayal, anxiety, and depression are common. The
healing process takes a long time. Know that your
support is important. Please do what you can to
support the person in your life who has been hurt,
recently or in the past.
