◊ myth
No one can be raped against his or her
will.
◊ reality
Rape is a
crime of power and aggression. Rapists use
intimidation, threats and often, physical force. Most
victims believe their lives are in danger.
________________
◊
myth
Women ask to be raped by flirting or
wearing sexy clothing.
◊ reality
No one asks or deserves to be raped.
The attacker is
always responsible.
________________
◊
myth
When a woman says "no," she means yes.
◊ reality
“No” means “No” - period.
________________
◊
myth
Most victims are raped by someone they
don't know.
◊ reality
In more than 80% of all rapes and sexual assaults,
the victim and attacker know each other. Nearly half
take place in the victim's home.
________________
◊
myth
Women "cry rape" to get even with men
or to protect their reputations.
◊ reality
Rape and the ensuing medical
and legal processes are traumatic for victims. Rarely
does anyone - man, woman or child - make false
allegations
of rape.
________________
◊
myth
Men can't be sexually assaulted.
◊ reality
Any person can be the victim of sexual
assault. Rape and sexual assault are among the most
devastating acts of violence a man can experience. 1
of every 10 victims of rape or sexual assault is a boy
or man.
________________
◊
myth
Rape cannot occur between people who
are married or in an ongoing sexual relationship.
◊ reality
Just because two people have had sex
in the past does not mean
that they have given consent
to have sex at any time. New York State law recognizes the crime of marital rape.
________________
◊
myth
Only attractive young women are at
risk.
◊ reality
People of all
ages are raped and sexually assaulted. Vera House
has
worked with victims as young as 2 and as old as 94.
FAQ’s About Sexual Assault
What is rape?
New York State law defines rape as forced
sexual intercourse.
Any other type of forced sexual contact is sexual
assault.
What is date rape?
Acquaintance rape, often called date
rape, is when the rapist is someone the victim knows -
a date, friend, boyfriend, classmate or anyone else who
is not a stranger.
The vast majority of rape or sexual assault victims are
assaulted
by someone they know. The law does not make any
distinctions between
stranger rapes and date or acquaintance rape.
Can I get help at Vera House?
Vera House works with men, women and
children of all ages.
We can help you if you are a victim or survivor of rape,
sexual assault, sexual abuse
or domestic violence or if
someone in your family is a victim or survivor.
Most services at Vera House are free. We believe that
money and insurance
should never prevent people from getting the help they
need.
We obtain funding through a variety of funding sources
and community fundraising.
If I go to Vera House, will they tell
anyone?
Services at Vera House are confidential.
That means that we cannot tell anyone anything without
your written consent.
Your privacy and comfort are very important to us. It is important to understand that
there are exceptions to confidentiality. We are required to follow the Mandated Reporting
laws, which require us to report any suspected cases of
child abuse, neglect, and we are also required to report
to law enforcement if you tell us you plan to hurt
yourself or anyone else.
What happens if I call the hotline?
When you call the 24-hour hotline, you
will reach a trained advocate
who will listen to you and help you understand your
options.
You do not have to give any information you do not want
to share.
The advocate will offer to have someone meet you at the
hospital or police station
to support you in getting attention or in reporting the
assault to the police.
If you do not want to do those things, you can just
talk.
You can call the hotline to talk at any time, right
after the assault
or months or years later, whenever you need support.
I was raped, but I don’t wan to talk to
the police.
Do I have to report it?
It is completely up to you whether or not
to report a rape or sexual assault.
If you want the person who attacked you to go to jail,
then you have to report the crime to the police - the
sooner the better.
I have heard that the medical examination
is scary.
Do I have to go to the hospital?
It is extremely important for you to get
medical attention as soon as possible.
You may have injuries that are not apparent. The doctor
or nurse can give you emergency contraception (EC) to
prevent pregnancy and medications
to
prevent HIV and AIDS. The hospital will call the
police only if you want them to.
If I don’t report the assault,
can I
change my mind and report it later?
You can always file a report with the
police, but it is best to do so right away.
Your memory will be most clear soon after the attack,
and there may be physical evidence that will be lost if
you wait.
Reporting the crime right away and having a Sexual
Assault Nurse Examiner
collect evidence during a medical examination
increases
the chances that your attacker can be caught
and prosecuted.
Will the person who sexually assaulted me
go to jail?
Sexual assault is a serious crime. If you
choose to report your assault
to law enforcement, the District Attorney's office will
decide
if there is enough evidence to bring charges against the
attacker.
If convicted, it is possible that the attacker could
receive a jail or prison sentence.
What if I was on a date or at a party?
Will anyone believe me?
Sexual assault is a crime. It does not
matter if you were on a date,
at a party, or if you were drinking when it happened.
It is never okay for someone to force sex on you.
Under the law,
date and acquaintance rape are no
different from rape by a stranger.
I don’t remember what happened.
How do I
know if I was drugged?
People who have had rape drugs slipped into a drink often
do not remember what happened while they were
unconscious. They may remember what happened but not be able to
remember clearly.
If you have memory loss and have been sexually
assaulted,
you may have been given a rape drug such as Rohypnol or
GHB. If you think you have been drugged, get to a hospital
right away.
What can I do to protect myself?
There is no way any of us can guarantee
our safety,
but there are some precautions you can take without
giving up your freedom.
